People want to know what i'm doing next. What happens when i'm finished with this.
Even I ask myself these questions. I'm not sure what i'm doing in six months, let alone where i'll be in a year. It was during a long distance facebook chat with an old, dear friend who is also living her life in a nonconventional way that it hit me...
What am I doing that is so out of the ordinary that it can no longer be categorized as "living my life?" In essence, people want to know what i'll do once i've finished living my life. When will I stop living my life for me and start living the life they're comfortable with; the life they know and understand?
It is hard, my friend and I agreed, not to get bogged down by these questions, these societal expectations. It can be even harder to maintain your confidence in the decisions you make for yourself day in and day out. Even though you know yourself better than anyone else (ideally, at least), the consistent hum of doubt is enough to make you waiver.
So why, in this day of high debt, high divorce rates, younger people getting diagnosed with terminal illnesses, ongoing clashes around the world, and the unending list of injustices taking place, is it so difficult to understand that some people, like myself and my friend, would opt for another way of living?
From what I can tell, this life is short. So much shorter than it needs to be to truly understand love and forgiveness. Too short to see everything the world has to offer. Too short to find resolutions for war and crime and illness. Too short to be waking up every day asking yourself what's next, when will I find love, what will I do for the rest of my life?
From what I can tell, this life is the only one we have. It's time to embrace friendships, appreciate family, admire those who are different, explore the world in a way that makes sense to you, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. If that means getting married and having kids or traveling around the world, or working the same job for 40 years, or wandering, seemingly aimlessly, until you find what you're truly good at, it doesn't matter.
Just live your life in a way that makes you happy and, if possible, gives back to the universe somehow. I forget that sometimes. But today, for a multitude of reasons, I could climb the highest mountain and shout it for the world to hear. For now, blabbing it here to no one in particular will have to do. I haven't made it to the highest mountain yet.
